A tartan onsie with a butt flap - argggggggggggg. The mind doth boggle.
Yes, after you with the Mind bleach.
Yep still got the strange fangled contraption. Twist and go…
He am need new sparks, battery’s a bit poorly.
Hmmm…am wonderin if it is possible to purchase tartan fleece…then I could prevail upon the Dark Lord to lie down upon a pice of it…( folded double of course…I watched Blue Peter too you kno)…whilst I mark round him with my tailors chalk…return with my pattern pieces…including square for said backflap…and manufacture said onesie …tho I doubt we would get him to model it for us at ye Scottish…too bad really…am sure it would qualify for one of the Clinkmeister awards…
Ha…googled it…tho I suspect the spectacle of the …er…measuring up would be considerably more entertaining…
Do they do one in Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders Tartan.
Asking for a friend obviously.
If you suggest this to Clink he will probably want one with an open crotch - I’ll stop right there.
If he were to talk to a friendly ex cold war warrior he might be able to supply him with a pair of Draws Dracula, Olive Drab Long Johns with a button flap at the back and button up crotch.
Rubber buttons of course.
Yikes!..What have i cut loose here! 
My word, we do have some active imagination available on tap in here don’t we! …Well, it’s often said that the Guzzi fraternity are a breed apart, and there is no doubt that this quaint eccentricity is alive and well within these hallowed halls. hehehe
Your’e ter blame of course…we caught it off you…
Ahhhh Good morning Kate!
Well let me assure you it is only a ‘fun’ contagion, and the banter an’ bllx is a welcome ray of sunshine for us all. 
A very bright start to the day just landed in my inbox by way of an email from my accountant.
…With trembling fingers i opened it and within the first two para’s he tells me that he had conservatively over-estimated my tax liability and in fact have only to pay approximately half of the figure he had forecast!
~ Tra lala doodee dooo {{{whistle whistle}}}
Every thing seems to be going swimmingly, particularly the huge amount of 4g data i buy from Voodoo Fone everytime i come over here, has now been squashed by virtue of a clever purchase of a compact portable Wi-fi ‘Yagi’ aerial with a built in signal amplifier that hooks me in to free wi-fi hotspots from my apartomento here in sunny Costa Caleta (80 miles fro Morrocco)
Ths enables me to entertain the good ladle by streaming her fave UK telly programmes absolutely free with minimal buffering! …
You may think that you wouldn’t need a telly if you were out and about in sunshine territory and on the lash aplenty, but when we wobble back in after a night on le pissoir, there is a relaxing time ont’ sofa (just like home) and after all it is dark from 6.30 pm and the temperatures can dip to about 16c at night, so it doesn’t hurt to save a few euro’s and pick up the news and shows me missed by using ‘catchup’ courtesy of the Beeb and a VPN proxy sever in the UK to make them think we are still in Englandistan and not ont’ forien soil.
Toodle pip for now. 
16 deg at night! We’re lucky to get that in the day in mid summer in this part of Cornwall. The Lizard cops for everything before it dries up for the rest of the UK, who actually get a Summer. It’s permanent rain here at the moment complete with gale force winds, lovely! I am riding (when there is a break in the weather) my Convert and Eldorado, with my Ambassador slowly coming together in the hospital wing. Wiring is a black art for which I am seriously lacking in the necessary magical skills.
Does your obvious wizardry ability with telecommunications run to finding a way to access superfast broadband? I am surrounded by it (literally) but apparently I cannot get it because our line goes to a diiferent exchange and I suppose they don’t see us a financially viable proposition. BT will not give me a straight answer and I have been asking for several years now.
Anyway glad you are warm and dry. I’m just donning my oilskins and sou’wester to take the dogs out for a power wash!
Hya ‘J’
Yes all is well here and i’m certain that with a few twiddles we may be able to fix you up for a better broadband connection1
I best not ramble on too much about it in here as i may invoke the wrath off the off topic gods, so i will pm ya in due course 
What can possibly be off topic in Bellagio Banter?
what indeed…I’ve always kinda liked the way stuff morphs…the bigger picture is the thing…
Very good news about the tax.
Your alternative domicile sounds very exotic and spiffing…
Naah Miko, tis but a bog std 3* Canarian ‘Apart-hotel and not anything fancy ol’ chop, you should try i now youm foot loose 'n fancy free…2 weeks all inclusive in the winter months won’t break the bank and motorcycle hire is readily available should you require it…Google “Alpharooms” flight and hotel deals to sus it oot for yourself…Interesting facts to whet your appetite: 700 miles close to the equator than the southernmost tip of Spain, yet 60 nautical miles from the North African coast same longtitude as the UK so the in our time zone and latitude is the same as Florida and Mexico but only a 4 hour flight from blighty;…Sun tanned in Jan/Feb…Wot’s not to loike?
… Ooooo is that the time? …blimey, quarter past 2 in the morning and me sat here on the ‘pooter having been shaken from me slumbers by sonorus snoring from the person-ette on the adjacent pillow 
Tsk…Anyway, memo: must get some cotton wool from the pharmacia int’ morning…two plugs for my lugs and keep on smiling (wince 
)
Ha ! so, there ya go Katie and Eno, yet another slight shift in the topical drift (so to speak) so i shall pause for a while now a d mek a brew to which i shall add a liberal dose of scotch to assist an early return to me cot…
…Slightly later…
[[[clink…glug…Ahhhh]]]
Now where was i, ahhh yes, theres nothing quite like a nocturnal “Sergeant Majors” to assist an early return to the land of nod.
So a new Ducati dealership has popped up in the locality, but it seems the main bolides of choice over here are 600cc japanese plastic pocket rockets with a smattering of middle weight trailies which would be my best bet should i ever bring my license with me as there are plenty of opportunities for off road exploring over here…and i mean that in the true sense and not careering off a mountain road prior to a short stay in A&E 
And do you know, i come here as often as i can afford, but i have never seen a Moto Guzzi! This surprises me as the Spaniards are noted for their love of moto’s but there you go.
… But it’s not all sun ‘n sangria ye ken, as i still conduct my ‘boite noir’ side line by email when out of the uk and have recently been churning a few out for Guy Pemberton who builds a very neat 3 wheel cycle car using (would you believe) the V7 MkII mill that he ships in from the factory and mates up to a Peugeot gearbox to give a 4 speed + reverse mini Morgan style mosheen! Incredible but true, as he must be an absolute negotiation wizard to get some joy in that respect from the factory that is not normally noted for dishing out bon homie to dealers or riders!
I really do fancy one of those cars, particularly a ‘one off’ using a big block 1200 8 valve unit which i would think would be a whole lotta fun! but i’m not well enough heeled to punt 20 grand on a aluminium bodied hand built toy that renders one liable to getting snarled up in traffic as they dunna filter very successfully as you can on a two wheeled blade.
…Which brings me round to the upcoming clox gathering…
We will be attending but in the back of a taxi from a temporary base at the Golden Lion, where they have my favourite ‘black tops’ in the bar…You remember them Kate? (lol) Yes, Black tops are the local upton parlance for Westons 8.2% vintage Jake and on top of that, some of the finest steak din dins i have ever noshed upon…Please don’t frown, i too would be under canvas as i did in my chequered past for winter rallies, but now i am paying the price for with arthritic hips etc. etc. but i still miss it so and that ol’ bug is bitin’ again and i’m sure it won’t be too long 'till i’m back in the saddle!
C.U. Later ~~~~~
Blimey…smashin Radio Canary stuff from our man on the continent…not in the continent ! Rather like the sound of those V7 thingies…but as you rightly point out…they still get stuck in jams…
Funny month february…think we’re all champin at the bit…without neccessarily wantin to wish our lives away mind you…
We off to the Westcountry in a mo…Bristol Show…will report back latr gentlemen…x
All faskinatin’ stuff, to be sure, I woz all agog…
Can’t wait for the next instalment.
Speaking of bulletins, (aka not letter from America but letter from Canary) on the steam wireless today guest Ian Hislop was talking about a discovery he had made in the nation’s archives, viz, back in 1916 some Tommy soldiers in Ypres France found a fully functional printing press in the cellar of a shelled out house. One of them said “That’s 'andy 'arry” (or words to that affect) “just by pure coincidence, I just happen to have worked in Fleet Street before this caper, so I know how to make this work.” An officer, who happened to be present, greeted this with: “Oh what a jolly wheeze! Let’s print our own paper!” (Never mind what else was going on, like a war to fight.) So was born the Wipers Times, or somesuch, a very successful satirical comic paper not very unlike a forerunner of Hisplop’s own Private Eye magazine.
Bit of a ramble there, can you tell I’ve just returned from the pub…
I returned via the pretty route, a relative concept as it was mostly pitch dark except for my trusty LED lantern.
Well that was a very interesting snippet of history there Miko, thank you, and then to round it off with
…" I returned via the pretty route, a relative concept as it was mostly pitch dark"…Stopped me in my tracks! …I thought “Hmmm, what a nice world it would be to live in if we could all do that”…
Imagine all those demonstrators in Londinium currently making a huge fuss over the new president Darnold Trumpet…Or the self important politicians and poor misguided poor lambs who feel cheated because we voted to pull out of the EU … These dudes actually are just acting out a relative concept too, when what they are really doing is not hand wringing, but hand clapping and roaring with approval…
Anyway, that’s enough of the political commentary from me, but that was a nice piece of ‘off the wall’ journalism worthy of the Pupton Gazette me aul fruitie!
So, day breaks in all it’s glory and the sun is flooding down as i contemplate another day another Euro (86p @ mo’) and how to fill a Sunday on Fuerte Ventura, and having had our fill of local cuisine, i have located a small restaurant called Tommy Nutters which as it happens is run by an expat Londoner called Tommy (and who is indeed one!)…Where we can get a trad English Sunday roast lunch and glug a pint or two of imported real ale instead he gnats wee wee they flog over here in the absence of Zoider!
Ltr chillun ~~~